The Cost of Being Unmothered
It’s important for mothers to show up
And how they show up makes a huge impact on who we become as women.
When you are unmothered there are some things you can miss out on in life. Although you may, for the most part, end up all right, the fight just to become who you are is not without a price. It is difficult trying to raise yourself and even harder when life is unforgiving and no respecter of persons. Here are some of the costs I’ve identified when you grow up without an emotionally available mother:
Lack of guidance and support for life decisions. When your mother can’t be there for you, many times you may not have anyone else to go to. Or if you do, you may still wish it was your actual mom who could tell you or show you what to do. Sometimes you just feel lost.
May develop low self-esteem and a sense of worthlessness. Having your own mother devalue you is painful, to put it lightly. It takes a lot of strength, support, and reassurance from within and sometimes a good therapist to help you remain positive and confident in your own skin.
May learn and mimic toxic behavior. You may not even realize it’s happening but you can subconsciously start doing some of the same things that were done to you. And it’s strictly because that’s all you know. You’ve not seen another way so you’re unaware or just jaded.
Can cause a general mistrust of other women. Sometimes there’s jealousy and sabatoge playing out in the mother-daughter roles where the mom is toxic. This behavior can make you unwilling to trust other women because of the way your mother treats you.
No role model for how to be a good mother. Sure you can have other women to show you how. But that immediate model is missing in your own mother.
More vulnerable in relationships. This is all relationships because you may enter into them looking for validation you never received from your mom.
If you want to learn more about the “Cost of Being Unmothered” visit my Instagram or Facebook page where I posted a live on the subject. It’s about a 30 min talk where I go into detail on each point.
